One more...

One more glass and I will submit
to the memory of her dress.
Silk less smooth as the skin within,
and I’ve seen her wearing less.
But you never knew me quite this way
with my eyes so full of clouds.
Some black poison has ruined me
and the gown is now a shroud.

One more glass and I will resort
to softly whispering her name.
Writing words on my exposed pale palms
in an attempt to hide the stain.

But you never knew me quite this way
With my body so stale and old.
I’ve tortured the flame of this candle
And its grey smoke kiss has left me cold.

One more glass and I will forget
the sweet memory of her dress.She wore it for me one afternoon
when she still wanted to impress.

Signs

She would be enchanting
But only if she analyses his carefully chosen words, 

remembers his clearly stated intentions, 

observes the spirit of his rules, 

appreciates the motives behind his actions.

She would be enthrallingBut only if she is adept at reading the signs, 

interpreting the nuances, 

deciphering the subtle indicators, 

understanding the quiet marks of emphasis.

She would be compelling
But only if she explores the spaces between the lines 

as well as the lines themselves.

He would adore her utterly, 

completely, and entirely.Far beyond her dreams
But only if she gives true freedom to the latent desire 

that hesitates deep inside her.

Eloquent

She listens.

I know she does not believe me.

Her eyes are an ocean of brown sorrow.  

She watches me flounder in the waves.   

I am lost in her chilly sea. 

She will not throw me the lifebelt of a word.  

Her disbelief is fathomless.

Everything I say now will taste of salt.

Her silence is eloquent

Ease

Life without her is easier.

He no longer needs to examine his shirts for crimson lipstick smudges 

or lingering traces of perfume. 

Or for her body’s delicious scent. 

 He does not have to set his phone to soundlessly vibrate, in case she texts. 

He knows that every date in his calendar is honest and justified. 

He has no need to disappear answer her needy call. 

Or lower his voice when he bravely and hungrily calls her from the house.

There are no longer any secrets that might become unraveled. 

No chance sightings to somehow explain. 

No confusions over time and places and moments shared. 

No tell-tale receipts in his wallet. 

Or marks on his skin.

The heavy burden of guilt that he has carried

 without realising it has lifted from his shoulders 

and left him feeling light and free. 

He thinks he has become a better man. 

The stone in his heart has been rolled away.

There is something to be said for not cheating

It begins

To be the hers.To be regarded enough for her to expect it. 

To be respected enough for her to yield. 

To be admired enough for him to kneel.

To be the one made whole by her gift, never before given.It is an honour for him.
It is a wild, heady, nervous, exciting
and achingly beautiful moment for her.

Their journey together begins.

Dignity

Should I dignify
stupidity with a poem?
No – you aren’t worth it.

Rain

You spoke the water
And the water has given
Us a new name
But I call you, still

Poetry and Love

Satisfying shadows
The earth parades us
And these drops
Seem to fly

Return to me

Return my friend. The one who stood near in the starless days, in the moonless nights, casting shadow in the darkest of corners, bringing concealed meaning to the words, giving mystery its hold on the defined.

Return my brother. For we belong of the same land, the same time, the same body, the same mind, the same blood. We are of the same mission, our journey was forged side by side, of the same metal, of the same blade. Grass is grown, seeds are sewn, all in all, sadness was born.

Return my peace. The quiet which grew, the bond which we knew…

“Do not carry the world on your shoulders, accept your sadness and it shall release” I was told

Return that which belongs to me… for acceptance does release and empty. As the tide does come and go… its waters never leave… displaced and moved… yet still part of the sea…

My waters have evaporated, sadness has went accompanied by the tears. Emptiness is all which remains, along with eyes that cannot shed tears or see… yet they long for their release…

Return that which belongs to me. For I simply can not be, without that other part of me…

“It feels different, as if a weight has been lifted. Yet it was no burden upon me… I carried it freely… now my mission, my purpose has changed. Who defines happiness and normality? Who names all that should be? Who took my burden which I carried freely? Who took it from my mind? Now look at me, who am I? I doubt my own existence because my burdens defined me”

For my father

I sit here and wait… wait for the day... you and I talk as men. The first year was the hardest I find… as time passed I learned to look at life and death differently. My views have changed, emotions cast aside, its easier that way, in part of his death and in part of what I see after his passing…
At times I want to go to the cemetery, I'm ashamed to say I don't remember where it is… I imagine our family gathered for a memorial. During this time there was a prayer said… as I looked around all heads were bowed… jackets pulled tight, guarding … protecting from the cold… gazes sorrowful, melancholy heavy in the air… the air carried bitter cold and sadness… and then… for a moment the seemingly overcast sky opened up… the sun shone brightly… I felt warm… I felt light… I looked around to see if anyone else felt the same…felt you... but alas… they missed my joy… one day they shall know what I know… believe what I believe… one day…

So today I say live and be thankful… live in the memories of those who passed… live with the knowledge of the memories we form today, with our loved ones… live with them and take thanks and know you are blessed with each and every moment… live with the feelings of wonder and uncertainty… for the uncertainty is life… so live with life…

My father loved me and my brother… and he would have loved my newest brother and sister… And we loved him albeit afraid of him. I wish I had more time… to figure him out

I know life does not take us where we want to beI have blamed you for so many wrongs in my life
Hated you for putting me on the right path
I just needed a father to tell me "Son, I'm proud of you,"
Teach me to be a man, to keep the car running, maybe a thing or two about girls.
So I picked any father figure, mostly media, following what they fed me. Now I could only wish…
I could see your face again
Talk, look upon your eyes

Things haven’t been the same, they never will be
It took too long for me to understand
What we all belong to is something else
We belong to Life
Not the other way around.
Until we meet again… 

Celebrate

A journey through the past and I find myself smiling as I reminisce over memories. My life indeed is full. I have actually had an amazing life so far! It is not easy to notice the good when you keep staring at the bad and today I shall celebrate the good that has come my way.

1. FAMILY

Home is the place where when you go,they have to accept you.Like they do not have a choice and I am living proof of that. I was a rebel,right after high school!I had that whole attitude of being an adult and it’s my life and you just cannot make decisions without consulting me (they have a tendency to ‘meddle’) and so in my process of figuring me out and all,I ended up doing some silly things. Any way,when that season passed,I was welcomed with open arms and no questions asked and when I went back, it was like I never left. Home indeed is a happy place.I am grateful for my family.Would never exchange them for another.We are imperfectly perfect meant to be in each others lives. Love yous

2. FRIENDS.

This is one of those areas I have had to learn things the hard way! Wow,so,friends,you can only have a handful!Like the people who you are okay being you without apologies and those who take you as you are?Yeah,these are a handful.For someone like me,who is extroverted and who has a big heart,believes in believing the best in people,it is a hard nut to swallow but i finally came to understand that just because we share the same environmental space does not make us friends.We have a lot of acquaintances.I have had some of the craziest break ups with people I thought friends only for them to turn out to be strangers,because of things they did and said.I know I am not perfect but I am quite faithful and loyal to people I consider friends.Okay,I try my best to be the best friend I can be but life sadly is not fair and I have come to accept that with a lot of grace.I have on the other hand formed some pretty awesome friendships that I am sure will survive until death do us part.I have met people who have filled my life with so much joy and happiness and who have helped me become the person I am to me.I also learned there are people who come to your life for a season so it is important to know when a season starts and when it ends so that you do not lose out on anything.To friendship,true friendship,i raise a glass and if you have friends,those peeps you know have your back no matter what,you have a reason to smile every day as no amount of money can replace that.And yes,we all fall for those who masquerade as friends but are just out o mess us up but hey,there is a lesson in every experience if you look through carefully!

3. DATING

I think this has given my life the most entertainment!I have met and dated enough girls and it has been amazing.There are those I was sure I was going to marry,then those who,well,were dated simply because of how cute they were.(my sister assured me this was a phase…the whole looks thing) and i came to agree.But I have since grown up and I think all these relationships,with their ending,I learned something new about myself.I learned from every girl who has ever held that special place in my heart and how I am friends with some of my exes surprises me but it’s a good thing.I look back and smile as i realize,even those that ended in tears,planted some beautiful flowers in my garden called my life.They have all added something that’s precious and I am happy I dated each and every one of them.

Today,I am just happy and grateful for all the people who have come across my path and I say God bless you for allowing me to share your lives with you.

Life

May I find my blessings where they are:

Lost in the reverberating laughter of my childhood,

and hidden in the quiet moments when I held you in my arms.

Yet even as Fate scatters these fortunes to the wind

I have still to find the strength to say

Goodbye