For my father

I sit here and wait… wait for the day... you and I talk as men. The first year was the hardest I find… as time passed I learned to look at life and death differently. My views have changed, emotions cast aside, its easier that way, in part of his death and in part of what I see after his passing…
At times I want to go to the cemetery, I'm ashamed to say I don't remember where it is… I imagine our family gathered for a memorial. During this time there was a prayer said… as I looked around all heads were bowed… jackets pulled tight, guarding … protecting from the cold… gazes sorrowful, melancholy heavy in the air… the air carried bitter cold and sadness… and then… for a moment the seemingly overcast sky opened up… the sun shone brightly… I felt warm… I felt light… I looked around to see if anyone else felt the same…felt you... but alas… they missed my joy… one day they shall know what I know… believe what I believe… one day…

So today I say live and be thankful… live in the memories of those who passed… live with the knowledge of the memories we form today, with our loved ones… live with them and take thanks and know you are blessed with each and every moment… live with the feelings of wonder and uncertainty… for the uncertainty is life… so live with life…

My father loved me and my brother… and he would have loved my newest brother and sister… And we loved him albeit afraid of him. I wish I had more time… to figure him out

I know life does not take us where we want to beI have blamed you for so many wrongs in my life
Hated you for putting me on the right path
I just needed a father to tell me "Son, I'm proud of you,"
Teach me to be a man, to keep the car running, maybe a thing or two about girls.
So I picked any father figure, mostly media, following what they fed me. Now I could only wish…
I could see your face again
Talk, look upon your eyes

Things haven’t been the same, they never will be
It took too long for me to understand
What we all belong to is something else
We belong to Life
Not the other way around.
Until we meet again…