Day 03 - Something I have to forgive myself for
Whoa, this is difficult. It's not everyday you dig up things you have buried very deep. This is hard. When I was younger my young brother was my only friend. We played together, got in trouble together, my partner in crime. Anyways, one day we were running around the yard and I guess I wasn't paying much attention to him and a grill door fell on his thumb splitting it right in the middle. Maybe it wasn't my fault, maybe it was. That is one. An old flame got pregnant (no it isn't mine). My indecision and unwillingness to let her in probably let to her getting pregnant. A friend told me that if it wasn't with the other dude, then it was going to be me. We just do not realise how much our decisions or lack of them affects other people.
One thing I know for sure is that I have beat myself up for a very long time about the choice that I have made and the opportunities I let slip. I know I need not do that but I don't know what causes me to place so much blame on myself. Sometimes I think to myslef, "It could have been worse, cheer up," but that doesn't ease me or put me at peace with what has happened. Self, you are forgiven. Self doesn't buy that. While I am trying to make peace with myself, as slow as that maybe, let's go to day 4
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