Pain, Bliss

I hate it!
how dare she leave me!
short of words,
mumbling for just one word
from my heart to break this dry white season
on the endless screen of nothingness.

worse than any lover,
she seduces me,
yes, quite like no other,
and then she just ups and offs,
just when I feel I am falling,
heedlessly,
helplessly,
in love with her
gone!

vanished!
nowhere to be found..
leaving me feeling used,
betrayed,
second grade,
how could she go!?

And you, pray tell me,
yes you, please,
we’ll keep it just between us,
is she perhaps
woo-ing you
or you?
or you?

where could she be?
just a few days ago
we were having
such a good time
in the hot afternoon sun,
then later,
by the rays of the moonlight
word after word
chapter after chapter
only to wake up early
one morning
and find myself
all alone
completely
solo
and my page,
my poor beautiful page,
like my heart,
ripped open
to reveal
a blank,
snowy
emptiness.

I’ve sat and tried to write
I really have
Even just one sentence
Without her
In the hope that
if I wrote it
And then left
She’d be so enraged
she’d come to find me
And drag me back to the page
like she used to
when we were still lovers

But no,
Not this time,
I thought she’d be livid
If I left and didn’t even once
command her by name…

I was sure
she wouldn’t handle my
withdrawal from
her ‘entraptuous’ ways…
but still
she has made no contact…
I fear I will go mad without her
That the white screen
Will become my prison..
Please I beg you
please
if she is perchance visiting you
or you
or you…
bring her close to you
hold her tight
and then
whisper in her ear
so no one else
but she can hear
these few words:

“Go back to your wordsmith he misses you so!”